Ben & Shae Cecka's family in Gilbert, AZ

This time last year we received an insightful comment from one of my favorite bloggers, Seth Simonds. I like it so much that I am re-publishing it in a new post:

I think one gets to the point where a loss becomes less inflamed and settles in as a deeper hurt. Something like when you sprain your ankle and it swells up, you’re on crutches, and people know to treat you differently. Once a bit of healing takes place and the swelling goes down, you hang up the crutches. Others forget how recently it was that you struggled to walk and they wonder why you have trouble keeping up when they want to run.

It still hurts inside though. The outer part may have healed but that deeper hurt remains.

You’re not being selfish to remember a recent wound. If you force yourself to run when your ankle isn’t ready, your body responds by building up scar tissue that can extend the pain and cause stiffness until re-torn and healed properly.

I’ve never lost a child but I assume it resides far up the spectrum of things that make one weep. (I have no idea how far up the spectrum or if it’s even in a realm of its own which is probable)

If you need to sit in a closet with a bottle of tequila and something to wrap your arms around, please do so. Without apology. You’ll know when it’s time to walk again. And when the rain is near and that old wound starts to ache, I hope the people around you know to trust you to deal with the pain as you see fit.